Insomnia (Sexual Misconduct Volume I) Read online

  Then… he proved me wrong. In one swift move, he drove two thick fingers into me, licked the sensitive underside of my clit, and I rocketed into my orgasm. The wild eruption of pleasure was excessive, but I still craved more.

  He slowly lapped at my clit, sending steady waves of shocks pulsing through me. Then he stood up, pulled down his pants, and his cock jutted out. Though it had been in me before, I’d never actually seen him fully aroused. It was massive and thick. He had an upturned cock that pointed toward his abs. I watched as he stretched the condom over the plump crown and rolled it down.

  He moved toward me. I started to pull back, but he caught my legs, pulled my ass back on the armrest, and spread my thighs. “Don’t. Fucking. Move.”

  “Xander…” I whined. “You’re too…” He rubbed the tip across my slit. I moaned. “Too… big…” The last word came out as a screech as he pushed his cock into me, pulled back out, and pushed in farther. I tried to reach out and hold him off—slow him down—but I couldn’t reach. He stretched me, filled me to the hilt, leaving me choking on my words.

  “And you’re so fucking tight.” He gave me several short, slow thrusts before he lost hold of his restraint. He pounded me, his fingers digging into my waist, his muscles flexing with each aggressive lunge.

  His thrusts were deep and wild, building a frenzied need for release in me again. I rolled my hips into his thrusts, clutching the cushions for support. Took desperate breaths as my nipples pebbled into aching buds, my pussy throbbing for release.

  “Pussy’s so fucking hot.”

  “I’m gonna come,” I moaned.

  He shook his head, gazing at me like a man possessed. “Take more.”

  “Oh… Fuck… I can’t.”

  “Take everything I give you and tell me how much you like it.”

  I needed to come badly, or I needed something to center me, take me out of the moment, because I was going to tip over. “I like it.” He bumped against my clit and I jolted. “Oh God… I love it… I love your cock.”

  I wanted to feel his skin pressed against mine, his breaths against my ear, but he kept his distance. We both knew if we added even the merest touch to our already magnified level of intimacy, this would become more than a simple fuck. His expression hardened. His fingers dug into my thigh as he rutted into me at an angle that caused the thick head of his cock to hit that bundle of nerves on each descent.

  He knitted his brows, sweat-drenched muscles straining with the need to release, and he bit on his lip to keep from shouting. All the effort we were both making to hold back our emotions was a sign that this was like nothing we’d ever experienced.

  “Ohh fuck… coming…” He growled the words in between each thrust, reaching over and rolling his thumb over my clit. The extra stimulation was too much or just what I needed, because my muscles tightened and I came… hard. My pussy clenched as his cock pulsed. The vibrating muscles of our sexes feeding off each other in an orgasm that kept going and going in a series of tugs and pulls that drained all the want and need from our body.

  When we finally looked at each other again, we wore the same dumbfounded expression with a tinge of fear, because the want and need didn’t really go away with that climax. It took root in my gut and grew at a rapid pace. It was the type of thing I’d crave, that would grow into some sort of obsession, infatuation, or worse… love.

  I flinched as he pulled out, rolling off the condom, and tossing it into the nearby trash. He returned, pulling me up the couch and fitting himself next to me. He splayed his arm over my breasts, his hand in my hair. His thigh rested between my legs and his cock pressed against my hip. He’d coiled himself around me as his soft breaths implied he’d fall asleep soon. But before he did, he whispered the words that echoed in my head since we’d shared that orgasm. “We’re fucked.” Both literally and figuratively, because I knew after this I was ruined.

  Who is She?

  Xander

  I woke with a start. Nude, disoriented, and completely alone. The shrill sound of my cell phone startled me out of my sleep. I glanced down at the screen and saw a missed call from Marcus. A quick glance at the clock showed it had been two hours since Avery had shown up at my door. I did a quick check of the house even though I knew I wouldn’t find her here. I stopped off at the bathroom before settling on my bed with the phone. I tried to convince myself not to call her, and it worked for about half an hour. I knew I wasn’t getting back to sleep, and I was a little pissed she’d come over here, turned everything upside down, and left while I slept. I tapped on Avery’s contact info and sent her a text.

  Where’d you go?

  Home. Her response was so quick I thought she might’ve been up waiting for me.

  Why?

  I live here.

  Smart-ass. I hit the call button instead of replying.

  “Hello.”

  “Why’d you leave?”

  “You never asked me to stay.”

  “I would’ve if I’d have been awake when you snuck off.”

  “I find it ironic that you’re complaining about falling asleep.”

  “I’m not complaining about that. I don’t even know what I’m complaining about.” I never had a problem with a woman leaving after sex. I couldn’t get them out fast enough, and now… now I was seconds from asking her to come back.

  “You got what you wanted, Xander,” she said matter-of-factly.

  I know I did. But was it enough? Would it ever be? Every time I fucked her, the need grew. The silence on the phone stretched for too long, but neither of us made an effort to disconnect the call.

  “Avery,” I said, breaking the silence.

  “Yeah.” Her tone came across soft and breathy, like she was drifting to sleep.

  “I want to fuck you again.”

  She moaned. The sound brought my dick from half-mast to fully erect in seconds.

  “Next time, I’m going to tie you to my bed so you’ll be here when I wake up. You can be my own little personal fuck puppet.”

  “Wow… do you have to be so crude?”

  “Yeah, I do. I’m a filthy-mouthed bastard who loves to fuck, and hopefully I’ll get you to be just as dirty. You know… maybe stain you with my hot, sticky—”

  “Xander.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Goodnight.”

  I smiled at her dismissal. “Goodnight, Avery.”

  I hung up with a ridiculous smile on my face and my other hand on my cock. She would quickly turn me into a sex-crazed maniac. Then she’d also be treating me for a sex addiction she afflicted me with. Before I placed the phone down, it began ringing.

  “Change your mind?” I answered, expecting to hear Avery’s voice.

  “Xander?”

  Marcus. “Yeah. What’s up?” I shifted into a seated position.

  “It’s about the doctor you wanted me to check up on.”

  “You can call off the investigation.”

  “That was quick.” He chuckled. “Never cease to amaze me.”

  “Shut up. I don’t need that info anymore.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Why? What did you find out?” I tensed.

  “Nothing.” I relaxed, loosening my grip on the phone.

  “Okay, so why do you sound so worried?”

  “Because I found nothing. It’s like she didn’t exist before eighteen. I don’t like it, Xander. Anyone who goes to that much trouble to cover their past has something ugly to hide.”

  “How much could she have done before she turned eighteen? She’s too straight and narrow for anything criminal.”

  “You of all people should know when you’re trying to bury a part of your past, you turn into a completely different person.”

  “Trust me, I know that, but not Avery.”

  “You’re blinded by the pussy. The taste of it is probably still on your lips.”

  I smirked because I actually did still taste her on my tongue. “Fine, dig all you want.”

 
; “You can’t afford any surprises right now, so I’ll update you when I come up with some answers.” The line clicked off and I dropped the phone on the nightstand. Whatever her secret was, it couldn’t be as bad as mine. And maybe if it were, she’d understand. Regardless, I knew who she was now, and I liked it.

  *~*~*

  In the next week, we fell into a routine. We’d text all day, she’d make excuses as to why she couldn’t come over, but by ten p.m., she showed up at my door and we’d fuck for hours. I honestly thought after a week or so I’d tire of Avery. But I’d been lying to myself from day one. I’d felt that powerful pull toward her, and I deluded myself, thinking it was all about tearing off her panties and sinking my cock in her.

  This shit was different. The kind of different I didn’t need in my life. I’d been here before. I recognized the feelings that were growing for Avery, and it was like a ticking time bomb in my gut.

  I wasn’t good with relationships and love. I thrived for years on fucking women and moving on, because love would destroy me. I wasn’t the candy, flowers, and tears kind of guy. I was the jealous, crazed, obsessed type. If this thing with Avery continued to grow the way it was, I’d start to fuck it up. I’d take desperate measures to keep her. I knew it. Saw it coming but couldn’t stop it if my life deepened on it. And trust me… it did.

  By the end of the week, I talked her into going to dinner with me. I took her to a desolate mountaintop park I used to visit when I was younger. Her hair blew in the wind, and her right hand gripped the seat as I whipped my pickup around the steep edges of the road. I reached over, running a hand up the back of her neck into her hair. She glanced over at me with nervous eyes.

  “Can you pay attention to the road?”

  I smiled at her but returned my hand to the wheel. When we pulled up to the small, secluded area, she jumped out and walked up to the guardrail and gazed at the city lights below.

  Making sure to park so we’d face the view, I set up a blanket and laid out the dinner I’d picked up in the bed of the pickup. I helped her up, and suspicion flickered in her glance.

  “So you have a romantic side?” She narrowed her eyes.

  “I have a lot of sides and crooked edges, Dr. Shaw.”

  She lifted an eyebrow and smiled. “I’m sure you do.”

  We ate mostly in silence, and when we were done, we leaned back—her back against my chest, my arms around her waist. It was the most peaceful moment I had in over ten years.

  “Why haven’t you returned to California? Not that I’m saying I want you to leave, but…”

  “So you want me to stay?”

  “Never mind.”

  I let her off the hook and answered her question.

  “I haven’t really accepted any scripts or produced anything in almost two years. I had my stint in rehab and I needed time off.”

  “Was the drinking because of your insomnia?”

  “Partly. It wasn’t as severe as it is here, but yeah, it would take the edge off and allow me to forget.”

  “Forget what?”

  I shook my head. Mostly at myself because I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just lay it all out there. She didn’t push, which was a relief.

  “Did you grow up here?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I went to the local high school and everything.”

  “So did I.”

  “I’m sure I was way before your time.”

  “Yeah, you were probably five years ahead of me.”

  ”How old are you?”

  “Twenty-seven.”

  “And already in your own practice? Impressive.”

  “Well, when you have no one to fall back on, you dedicate yourself to being able to survive. So I doubled up on coursework, and I was actually taking some college courses while I was still in high school. I was in medical school by the time I was twenty-one.”

  I whistled and she giggled shyly. I think it was the first time I’d heard that sound from her. She sounded carefree and so unreserved, totally opposite from the bottled-up woman she usually was. Maybe I ought to loosen her up with wine more often.

  “That’s pretty amazing.”

  “Well, I had Ellie as a motivation.”

  “Who’s Ellie?”

  “She’s like my sister or daughter, depending on how you look at it. We were placed in the same foster home, and I took care of her.”

  “Didn’t you have any family to take you in?”

  She shook her head. “No. My grandparents were all dead, and I had an aunt, but she had too much going on to take care of me.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Fifteen.”

  “I’m sorry you were left alone. That had to be hard.”

  She shifted around, looked at me, and shrugged, a slight sadness in her gaze. The stark contrast of her red hair against her piercing blue eyes got to me every time. I swallowed back whatever it was she made me feel. If I could, I’d purge myself of it. She reached out and ran her fingers over my eyebrow, down my face, and over my jaw.

  Her heavy-lidded gaze fell on my lips as she leaned in. Her lips were soft and pliant, her tongue gliding against mine aggressively. I moaned. I couldn’t fucking wait to get her tongue wrapped around my cock. If kissing her was any indication of what she could do with her mouth, I’d be shooting off down her throat in record time. She broke the kiss and gave me the same expression she always did. Shock and amazement with a huge side of turned the fuck on.

  “Xander?” she asked quietly.

  “Yeah?” I brushed my fingers through her silky hair.

  “What are we doing?”

  “I have no fucking idea what’s happening here,” I admitted before I dove back in, devouring her mouth with the intensity that matched the fire burning between us. If she hadn’t pulled away, I would’ve fucked her right there in the back of my truck, under the moon, with the city lights as a backdrop. But I hadn’t come there for that. I was trying to do something with her that didn’t involve sex. It went against every fucking thing I believed in, but I was building a relationship.

  So I pulled a blanket over us and we spent the next two hours talking about everything except that day. She didn’t seem to hold anything back, and I was convinced she was exactly the person I thought she was.

  Who He Is

  Avery

  In the two weeks since I’d shown up at Xander’s door, we’d become inseparable. No matter how many times I woke up in the morning and said I would take an off day from him, I’d end up in his bed.

  He opened up to a certain extent. He told me what it was like growing up as the mayor’s son. How much he really missed his dad, and that he was close to his brother until he left town. He talked about his mom like she was the world to him, and he spent most of his days with her. He told me about moving to California and how it took him four years to get a part in a small movie, and from there everything took off for him. He even talked to me about rehab and dealing with the press.

  Xander opened up about everything in his life. Everything except what kept him up at night. I’d spent mostly every night at his place for two weeks, and half the time he woke up in a cold sweat. The other half he didn’t sleep at all. I was suspicious that whatever gave him this insomnia was the same thing that chased him away years ago, because that was the only thing he didn’t speak about, and I didn’t press him. Yet. Besides, I was sure I’d figured out who he was.

  There was a knock at my door, and Matt peeped his head into my office. “Do you have a minute?”

  “Sure. I’m done for the day.”

  He walked in, shut the door, then took the seat across from me. “So you’ve been scarce around here lately.”

  “No, I haven’t. I’ve been here for all my appointments.” I knew it was a playful dig at me being with Xander, so I brushed it off.

  “How are things with the movie star?” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I smiled at him.

  “Not as bad as I expected.”

  “I’m
sure you were expecting doom and gloom.”

  “More like heartache and destruction.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “Is your heart involved already?”

  I shrugged. The last thing I wanted to do was admit there were some feelings developing between Xander and me.

  “I was all about you getting laid, but if your heart’s involved… be careful.”

  “What? Are you sure you’re a therapist? I’m starting to have my doubts. Let me see your certification.”

  “What? I told you to get laid, loosen up. Not fall in love.”

  “Matt, that’s the equivalent of leaving a two-year-old with a set of knives and telling them to play with it but don’t get cut.”

  “So you are falling for him.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “If any woman could have emotionless sex, I thought it would be you.”

  “Why?”

  “We were together for two years. The sex was great, but emotionally you weren’t there.”

  “So you thought I was incapable.”

  “Not incapable. I just thought it would take a lot more than a few nights of sex to get your heart pumping.”

  “Well, it’s not pumping yet. Let’s just say it’s flickering.”

  “Whatever. I didn’t come here to talk about your sex life.”

  “Then why did you come?”

  “I saw Ellie last night.”

  “Okay… She’s a big girl, Matt.”

  “Yeah, but she was acting all weird, then asked me not to tell you.”

  “And here you are breaking her confidence in you.”

  “I’ve known her since she was like fourteen. If I see her with a group of drunken chicks, downtown at two in the morning, I’m going to talk to you about it.”

  “She was drunk?”

  “She seemed sober… but her friends… I don’t know. You know how crazy some college girls get.”

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  “That’s right. You only went to like one kegger when we were in college. And you didn’t even drink.”

  “I was focused.”

  “You were uptight. Still are.”